never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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