And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
