I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
