Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
