Is it normal to miss your booty call?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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