I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Michael Bay diarrhea
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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