My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
