She is in my trunk
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
It's like God shit irony all over that family
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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