He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
