i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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