yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
