Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
