Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
