The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
