I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
