Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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