Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
