"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
