forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Actions speak louder than pants.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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