I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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