at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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