Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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