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I just threw up on my dentist
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
