You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
