she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
