I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
