I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize