Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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