Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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