In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
