"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
