when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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