Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
