i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
