laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i wish my penis had a tongue
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
