i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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