So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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