Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
