Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
