I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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