I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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