The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
