his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
