Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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