I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
