You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
