it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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