She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
