Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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