I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
