I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
