do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
