Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
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