I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
