we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
