It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
