that's an acceptable place to lick
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
